I have recently made a discovery that has changed the way I live my life. I’ve always had the problem of running out of bread at the worst times, or having too much and having to throw it out as it turns various shades of green before I can consume it all. I would either go days without a sandwich until someone stopped by the grocery store, or I would overstock and watch my hard earned money turn into mold as I crammed sandwich after sandwich down my gullet in a race against time and nature. And then one day Karen brought home bread, even though I had a full loaf already. And then something amazing happened. She said, “Why don’t you just freeze this one until you need it?”
And there it was. So simple, yet so profound. Freeze the bread. Thaw it out when I need it. OH….. MY…… GAWD! How did I not know of this process before? And it’s not just brilliant in theory, it actually works in practice. I now have the ability to have a near endless supply of fresh bread, limited only by my imagination and freezer space. What a wonderful world I live in. A wonderful, bread filled world.
A few days ago, my air conditioning unit suddenly stopped cooling the house down after eight years of dedicated service. It cost $250 to fix for who knows how long, but eventually, they tell me, I will need a new evaporator coil, a device which I don’t think even exists, and that it will be about $1600 to replace. There goes the iPad budget.
Now, my tractor won’t start. Who knows how much that will cost. Meanwhile, my lawn is growing at about nine times the normal rate and pretty much has me trapped in my own house, and with no tractor to mow my way out of here things could start to turn ugly soon.
This all adds up to the entire world plotting against me and my desire to own the most awesome device ever conceived of by man. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if my internet got cut off before I was able to post th
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