Glass Hole

Oh look, it’s raining again. It hasn’t done that in, I would say, somewhere around two or three minutes, unless you count when it was falling as huge balls of ice. Our road hasn’t flooded in hours. It was almost like water had ceased to be and yet, through some miracle of evaporation and condensation, here it is again. Hooray.

This weekend I am going to attempt to cut a hole in glass, and not just any hole, but a big honking hole some eight inches across so that I may install a cat flap. Yes, you heard me, a cat flap. And it’s not just any type of glass, it’s storm door glass and the glass-cutting professionals told me it couldn’t be done which is all the more reason why I want to do it. So, to prepare, I bought a Dremel and a diamond cutting wheel, not a cutting wheel made out of diamonds, but a diamond encrusted cutting wheel made specifically for cutting really, really hard stuff which apparently glass falls into that category even though you can shatter it into a million pieces just by dropping it. I plan to use my Dremel rotary tool to slice quickly and easily through this freaking storm door, and I shall install my cat flap, which by the way says it is made to mount in glass right on the package, and then I am going to call the glass-cutting professionals who told me it couldn’t be done and I will say to them, “Seriously guys, you’re professionals and yet you don’t know about going to the hardware store and buying a dremel and a diamond cutting wheel, not a wheel that cuts diamonds but a diamond encrusted cutting wheel, and just slicing right through some storm door glass? Really? Come on. It seems pretty simple. You seriously didn’t know about this?”
I will admit, that there is a small, very small, part of me that is thinking that maybe, just maybe, the professionals know what they are talking about. Maybe the glass is just going to shatter or explode or simply catch fire when I touch my diamond encrusted cutting wheel to it. Maybe there is a reason why you don’t see many holes in glass, other than the obvious.
I don’t know though. I just can’t shake the feeling that holes were meant to be cut in glass, and I swear I am going to cut me a freaking hole in one this weekend.

Filed under: Humor by yellowjeep
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