I’m on the road nearing the end of a long day in which I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast, so I decide to pull into a Burger King. I get in line in the drive-thru behind a car with one lone occupant. Sweet, I think, this won’t take long. That’s when I notice the lone occupant pull out a list. A LIST!!!! He then proceeds to read it into the speaker-box-post-thing for the next 72 minutes. Around minute 25, I had decided to just back up and leave, lest I sit there all night and starve to death, but as soon as I had made the decision, a giant truck pulled in behind me and I was trapped. Trapped!!!
Starving and beginning to hallucinate, the guy in front me finally finishes his list, rolls it up and pulls forward. At this point I am so weak I can barely get the car into gear. I let it coast forward, to weak to push the accelerator and then steer the car into the curb to stop it. Luckily, the windows were powered or I never would have gotten them down on my own. I placed my order, which by the way only took 17 seconds, and then proceeded to wait behind List Guy until they finished shoveling bags of food into his car. Had I not been in a weakened state of starvation and near death, I would have punched him right in the neck.
The food, the sweet life giving food, turned out to be lukewarm and crappy, but I required sustenance so I ate it anyway, the lone enjoyable moment coming when I found a solitary onion ring stowing away in my french fries. Long ago, I came to the conclusion that the solitary onion ring is the best onion ring in the world. Here’s why. One onion ring is really good, providing flavor to an otherwise salty and bland box of fries. Why not just order onion rings instead of fries, you ask? Because onion rings are not good in quantity. By the third one, they really start to taste like onions and not much else and by the end of the box you are completely sick of onion rings. But when there is just one, and it is completely unexpected, it’s like a tasty little reward for being such a great person, and that my friends, is freaking awesome.
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