I went to a local waterpark the other day… with hot chicks. That’s really the only point to the story, but I’ll go ahead and throw in some fluff just to round it out.
So, at the waterpark, they have three sets of slides. The small set, the medium set, and the large set. We started out on the medium set, then moved to the large set where they had a regular tube type water slide and then they have this giant funnel contraption where you hurl through a tube at high speeds, then at the end you hang a hard left where you are shot out into a giant funnel where you continue hanging a hard left until you are then shot out the bottom into a whirlpool where, if you are lucky, you will swirl around a few laps then get ejected onto shore and if you are not lucky you get pulled into the vortex and a lifeguard has to jump in with a giant piece of Styrofoam and float you to safety. I was one of the lucky ones, but I swear to God two people got sucked in and had to be hauled out while we were there.
This led me to stick mostly to the tube type slide, although as the day progressed, my speeds on the slide increased until eventually I would round the curves so high that I would leave the stream of water and be sliding entirely on dry plastic, which was in no way whatsoever comfortable. Damp skin careening at high speeds across dry plastic makes a screeching sound and a burning sensation that are both equally unsettling.
But the good news is I was there with hot chicks.
I was also the architect of this sweet-assed swan dive.
And here we are pointing to the rules that apply to us.
You can view the rest of the gallery, which at the moment only includes a few more pictures than shown here, on the Photos page.
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